Tag: thoughts

I’ve been thinking about submitting pitches and such again to publications, and that naturally led me to thinking about my hangups with submissions, promoting, and being in public in general. I feel as though I come off as unconfident but I’ve never felt like an unconfident person, and I’d say this comes out of a general not-fitting-in. A big part of this is that I am not a fan of things and I don’t make friends easily. It leads me to thinking that I should be seeking out somewhere else to lay my head, a place that I never seem to find.

I know that this blog has had a kind of whiplash between wrestling posts and sad posts lately. I feel like I should apologize although I don’t want to. I like joy but I’m not a happy person. Rather than feeling as though I’m inflicting this on you, though, I hope you’ll see yourselves as taking part in an exorcism. I’ve got to get things out and for whatever reason it doesn’t work for me to put them in a diary for no one to read.

Part of it is that I’ve always looked to see myself in advice and posting online and I never did. I didn’t want to hold everything in and then be like why are people in my situation never represented well. I don’t think I have any answers for people like me, but I didn’t want this kind of perspective to be lost forever. If it’s just me, it’s an exhibit. If it’s more than just me, maybe it’ll help you to understand this type of person.